The Hair Wars
by The Girl With the Angel Wings
Summary: Brunettes hate Blondes. Blondes hate Brunettes. And Redhead are laughing in the middle!" Well, nobody said Karin had to wear pants.


".....Karin, you freakin four-eyed Olga, I LOVE YOU!" I squealed, glomping said red-head in a giant flying hug.

"Sakura," she said, "Have you been listening in Spanish again?" I just grinned and flew off of her with my Ninja-flavored abilities, yelling, "Olga nunca lleva los pantalones!"

"I do SO wear pants!" She yelled. I gave her a look. "....Occasionally." I laughed and locked arms with her.

"Shall we go watch the Hair Wars?" She gave me a look that said 'WTF, you flying Ninja-flavored awesomesauce cup.'

Okay, maybe not _exactly_ that.

"They have a name?!" She cried, and pulled me out the door.

* * *

_The Hair Wars_

_By: Uchiha Sakachi_

_Prompts: "Brunettes hate Blondes; Blondes hate Brunettes; And Red-Heads are laughing in the middle!", "Olga nunca lleva los pantalones!", Ninja-flavored, Stalkers, Blonde Moments, "Omg! Omg! Omg!....Wait.....I forgot.", and Randomness._

_Dedicated to: My Cupcakes, because without them, I would just be a Ninja-Flavored Cupcake all alone in fighting The eVil Muffin Army._

_

* * *

_

So, I admit, things aren't always as they seem. Especially if they involve Olga, Moment, Carrot-Cake, Sharpie, Kool-Aid, and myself, Ninja.

"Focus, Bitch!" I yelled at Moment, caught up in the heat of the fight. She froze, turning her blonde head towards me. Her icy blue eyes were blank, and she said, "What?" I blinked.

"Huh?"

"What did you say?!"

"What did _I _say? What did you say?"

"What?"

"What?" I mimicked.

"Sakura!" She whined, looking at me pleadingly. Sharpie and Kool-Aid were holding each other up, laughing silently. Olga sat there, looking at me if I had grown three heads and a horn on my ass.

"Ino, I said focus," I said simply, walking past her, drinking my Starbucks. Ino's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

"Focus?" She asked. Karin broke out laughing, remembering when I had first said this.

"Ino. Fuck. Off. Cuz. Ur. Stupid." I ticked each word of my rainbow nails. So what if I couldn't chose a color? Do you see my making fun of your face?!

Ino went 'Oh' and began walking. I mouthed the countdown to the rest of my Flavors and lazily watched Ino freeze(Again) and turn(Again) to look at my pretty face. Her eyes got all flame-like and she started coming at me.

"Holy shit! Sharpie! Save me! The Blonde Moment is coming!" I cried, holding my Starbucks high because I just KNEW that fugly whore would attack my lovely Caramel Frap to get back at me.

"SAKURA!" She roared, and I could almost feel the earthquake in the other part of the world. Goodbye, Cali. I'll miss you dearly.

"Yes, Lovely Ino-Chan who doubles as my Blonde Moment or just Moment and DON'T KILL ME!!!!" I held my hands above my head as she hovered over me with that look of Pure Anger and All UnHoly. I couldn't die this young. She opened her mouth only to be cut off by Kool-Aid.

"Damn! Look at guy! He is so DeLish, I might have to rape him in the parking lot," Temari said, her bleen(1) eyes locked on the one dude with his hair in a pinapple pony.

Holy canolis and a box of macaroni!

I could name him...

Beast!

Yes, yes. Good job, Ninja. Your naming skilz still haven't failed you epically.

".....Ninja?" Carrot was saying, waving her hand in front of my face. I blinked and went, "Whoa...." Shaking my head, I grinned that Ninja-flavored grin that only I could pull off.

"His name shall be Beast!" Everyone blinked.

"Twi?" Olga said, "We don't know him yet."

"Exactly, Niz. Yet." I got up from the ground, and began my strut over. And damn, was I HOTT! My kickass Boots of Leather Goodness sat just under my knees, making my black-pleated skirt look shorter than it really is. The white, sparkly tank, and the bright green button up Aero shirt made my waist Itty-Bitty and my bust shaped. I walked up to the two boys leaning against the Vintage Mustang(Yes, Ninja knows cars!).

"Is that a Vintage '68 Mustang?" I asked smoothly, twirling a small strand of my pink hair around my pinkie. A blonde, who had GaOrgous blue eyes, smiled at me and said, "Wow. A pretty girl who knows cars. What are the odds? You sure you didn't search it on your phone?" I smiled.

"Oh, I didn't search it on my phone. I know cars." My friends came up behind me. "I was wondering if I could get your names." Moment snorted. I knew it was her, because, HELLO, she was a PIG and snorted just like one. Tenten voiced my thoughts.

"Nice, Moment. I guess all blonde girls are like that because Kool-Aid snorts just like you." My mouth popped open. Tenten wasn't known for tact, but she did know atleast when to not say something. Especially in front of Hott Guys. What did Moment do to piss HER off? I whirled around.

"Tenten!" I hissed. She shrugged, but I could see the glint of eVil in her eyes.

Now comes the part I didn't want.

In my defense, I tried to stop her.

Ino glared and snapped at her, "Well, at least _I _can get guys. Who would want to go out with a brown-haired freak?" Tenten just smirked.

"Boys like blondes. MEN like BRUNETTES." Ino looked like she just got slapped. She turned on her heel and walked away. Tenten walked back to the car. Hinata opened her mouth.

"I'm sorry. They usually aren't like this." The two boys nodded. I groaned and walked in the direction of Ino, hoping to Kami that she wasn't that mad.

* * *

I found Ino sitting on a curb, texting someone on her blackberry, with a look on her face that had people running for the hills. So I MUST be mentally retarded because I sat down next to her.

"Hey," I said, letting the tips of my long pink hair brush my hands as I leaned back. Ino looked at me and continued texting, not even looking at the keyboard.

"What?" She snapped. I made a face at her, and she rolled her eyes, signaling the rest of my speech.

"Let's go home," I said.

"Nice speech." I growled and yanked her up, almost falling in my heels, because I am NOT clumsy, gravity HATES me. I tugged her along to the bus stop that was a half a block away, and, because Ino and I are cups of awesomesauce, the bus pulled up right then and there. We got on, and sat down. Slipping out my green iTouch, I swiped my finger downwards, going down to BoysLikeGirls. Turning on Heels Over Head, I sat back and texted Karin.

**'Get Tenten in her room. I'm bringing Ino home.'**

BUZZ!!!

**'I can do that but now Temari's pissed. And she insulted brunettes, getting Hinata riled up.'**

My eyes popped opened wide.

**'Hinata? Riled up? Oh, shit, this is going to be WWIII. We'll be home soon.'**

Tapping the screen a couple time, the phone locked, and nobody except Olga knew my password. (_143, _she laughed, _I knew you were a die-hard romantic!)_

Oh, bite me.

The bus stopped about three blocks away from our apartment building, and I had to bodily slam Ino off the bus. Walking those three blocks were torture, because Mt. Ino could explode at any time. I kept seeing her face get redder and redder on the bus. Unlocking the door slowly, I stepped in the building and cringed as I heard the deep breath from behind me.

"WHERE'S THAT BITCH?! I FUCKING SWEAR I'M GOING TO KILL HER STUPID BRUNETTE ASS!" I swung around.

"Ino, you stupid pig, they weren't going to start." She froze with a fake look of shock.

"I'm so sorry," she said, not caring. Three doors slammed open and the fourth opened slowly. Karin walked out of that one. She grabbed me and pulled me back. Tenten and Hinata came out, so close to each other, I'm surprise they didn't become a Sharpie Cake. Temari walked on the other side, coming to stand next to Ino, looking furious.

"Oh, damn." The war has started.

* * *

I woke up to a slight creak outside my door, and turned over, peering at my Hello Kitty clock.

_2:53am._

I rolled back over and blinked. I heard it again. I got up and streached, holding my arms above my head. Gently grabbing my phone and my shoe, I headed out my door. Sliding down the banister, I landed on my toes and crept into the kitchen. I saw a figure moving around, taking things and putting them from the fridge to the table. Seeing a head of blue hair, I sighed and went back up to my room.

Not even ten minutes later, I heard a scream. I shot up. Was I wrong in assuming it was Carrot-Cake? I rushed out my room, flying to Moment's room. I froze upon sight.

Ino's hair was sticky, and green, and I don't even WANT to know what that smell was. Her bed was drawn on in.....sharpies?

Sharpie.

I turned to look at her, and she shrugged. I turned to Hinata, and she gave me a wondering look. I gave her a look.

"Don't you even try to start with me, Hyuga Hinata! You know better! And I saw you in the kitchen!"

"How?"

"My Ninja-flavored abilities." She rolled her eyes and I grinned. Ino screamed.

"This is no time to be talking about Ninja-Flavored abilities! Those FUGLY BRUNETTE BITCHES ruined my hair!" Tenten got all defensive over herself.

"Who are you calling a Fugly Bitch, you fatass cow!" Temari started.

"She's not a fatass cow, you are! And honey, that new blue top you got SO doesn't make you look good. It makes you look like a birthing beluga whale!" Hinata jumped in.

"Sweetheart, at least she has some brains in her pretty little head. And Stalker-like accusations doesn't make you any less stupid. It just accentuates your blondness." Karin tugged on my arm.

"This is better than cable," she whispered in my ear as the girls kept going at it. I nodded.

"It so is." We looked at each other.

"I'm so happy I'm not brunette or blonde," we said together. We grinned and sat back to watch the festivities.

* * *

"Omg! Omg! Omg!" Kool-Aid said, jumping up and down in her seat. Olga, Moment, and I turned to her, Carrot and Sharp ignoring her.

"What?" Olga asked, taking a bite of spagetti.

"Wait," she said, "I forgot." Tenten snorted and murmured to Hina, "Blonde moment." Hinata giggled. I got up and took my plate to the kitchen, Karin right behind me.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

"And there goes Ino," I murmured.

"I said, "Blonde Moment"! Sheesh, and I thought you blondes couldn't get stupider."

"And Tenten retaliates," Niz murmured back.

"Excuse me! We are not stupid! I graduated in the top ten percent of our class!"

"And Temari is going to whip out her diploma," I sighed.

"Wait right here, I'll prove it!"

"God bless, Temari! You faked it!"

"And Hina-Bear is now going to use her brain against everyone," Karin groaned.

"If you can't understand 'Malicious', you aren't smart."

"Bitch! I can understand that! That's where you're mean without reason."

"Oh, wow. You know one big word. I'm so putting you up for genius of the year." I whipped out my phone, tired of this.

"Who are you texting?"

"Dei-Chan and Ita-Chan."

"Why?"

"They need to bring the whole crew if this is going to happen. And I thought this would be the perfect time to meet the rest of the crew. We've only met the older half." Karin nodded.

**'Get your asses over here. It's a WAR in MY house. And if anything is broken in the time you recieve this text and the time you get here, YOU'RE paying for it.'**

BUZZ!!!

**'B ther in bout ten.'**

I stuck my phone in my back pocket, slipping out into the dining room. Tenten and Hinata were on one side of the table, looking superior. Ino and Temari were on the other side, looking murderous. I got to the door, waiting for the large hummer to pull up. What I didn't expect was the car from yesterday to pull up. I gave Karin a questioning look and flung open the door, attacking Itachi, who was closest.

"ITA-CHAN!!!" I wailed, wrapping my arms around him, "Sharpie and Carrot are fighting Kool-Aid and Moment." The boys that got out the other car looked confused. Itachi just sighed and disentangled himself from my arms, heading towards the house. I bounced in the driveway, afraid of what will happen. I looked over to the younger half of the crew and said to the blondie from yesterday, "Hey! You're BabyBlues!" The blonde looked confused. Pineapple sighed. "And you're Pineapple!" He gave a blank look to me. My lovely Kari-Chan helped them out in understanding Sakura-ese.

"Nicknames. I'm Olga, Twi, or Kari-Chan. Ita-Chan is Itachi. Dei-Chan is Deidara. SoriMori is Sasori. You," she pointed to BabyBlues, "are BabyBlues or GaOrgeous Blues." She turned on Pineapple. "You're Pineapple." I nodded, smiling brightly. Itachi's voice came from the house.

"I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT IF YOU FIGHT IN IMOUTO'S HOUSE! SO, GET OUT NOW!!!!" The four girls scurried out, flying from a now calm Itachi. Karin finished introductions.

"The long haired blonde is Ino. Sakura calls her Moment, Blonde Moment, Mizz Piggy, or Pig." Ino snorted. "The short haired blonde is Temari. Sakura calls her Kool-Aid or Kool." Temari smiled, glaring at Tenten and Hinata out the corner of her eye. "The brunette with the buns is Tenten. She is called Sharpie, Sharp, or Bun-Bun." Tenten waved. "The blue-haired girl is Hinata. She is Carrot, Carrot-Cake, or Cakie." Hinata smiled gently. "And this," I waved, "is Sakura. We call her Ninja, Awesomesauce, or Princess Sugar." I rolled my eyes, bumping my hip into hers.

"Can we do introductions?" BabyBlues asked. I nodded. He pointed to himself.

"I'm Naruto!" Going down the line, he rattled off names.

"Shikamaru, Choji, Kankuro, Gaara, Neji, Lee, Kiba, Shino, and Sasuke." My head spun from the onslaught.

"Well, why don't we go inside while the older boys handle the girls!" I headed inside, motioning for Karin to follow me.

I wish I hadn't.

"My house!" I cried, looking at the disater. Chairs stuck in walls, food on the floor, lamps broken. I prayed to Kami-Sama as I turned around. There, on the wall where you would see me at every day, sat _nothing_. I felt my blood boil as I picked up my picture of my brother Sasori and I. Brushing dirt off of it, I turned towards the door, stalking out.

"WHO DID THIS???!!!" Everyone fighting in the lawn froze at my screech. I held the picture above my head as Sasori came up to me and wrapped his arm around my hunched shoulders. Tenten pointed at Ino, who pointed at Hinata, who pointed at Temari, who pointed back at Tenten.

"Don't make me ask again." They sighed, and Temari raised her hand. I pointed at her.

"You-you-you-you-" Tenten cut in.

"Stupid Blond Bitch?"

"Shut the fuck up, you assholish brunette whore!" Temari retorted. Hinata opened her mouth, ready to say something.

"ALL OF YOU!!!! SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!! YOU FUCKING FIGHT OVER HAIR COLORS AND STEREOTYPES AND STALKERS AND NINJAS AND PANTS THAT OLGA DOESN'T WEAR AND PHONES AND GUYS AND FOOD AND WORDS AND AWESOMESAUCE CUPS AND-"

"Is there a point to this?" Itachi asked Deidara. He shrugged.

"-SHOES AND SHARPIES AND CUPCAKES AND WHO'S BETTER AT MARIO KARTS AND LIFE AND WHO BROKE MY PICTURE AND-AND-AND-I DON'T EVEN KNOW!!! YOU GUYS JUST CAN'T GET ALONG!!!! I HATE YOU ALL!!!! Well, all of you except Olga!!!!" I turned and ran into the house, going upstairs to my room. Flopping on my green sheets and buring my face in a orange pillow case, I cried my heart out. I didn't even here the door opening. I didn't even here all the feet shuffling into my room. Didn't even feel Karin's hand on my shoulder. I know what I did feel though. I felt my Olga's heartbeat as she pulled me out my pilow to comfort me. I felt my Ita-Chan's and Dei-Chan's bass baritones as they murmured comforting words to me. I felt BabyBlues hand rubbing my arm, even though he didn't know me. And I felt the smooth surface of a new frame being pushed into my hands half-an-hour later, by my Carrot-Cake, my Sharpie, my Blonde Moment, and my Kool-Aid as they whispered apologies. The first thing I saw though was the picture. And I smiled and tackled them into a hug, and all was forgiven.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Hey, Ita-Chan?"

"Yes, imouto?"

"Where's my check for the damage of my house?"

Groans of exasperation are heard as I grinned wickedly and placed the picture back on the wall.

* * *

**I know I said randomness, but there was it in the beginning, and I love the ending because I would do EXACTLY what Sakura did while yelling at my friends.**

**Peace Out.**


End file.
